From as early as I can remember, my creative outlet has always been writing. Whether it was research or a story from my imagination, it’s always been a true passion of mine. But that’s not what I pursued in life.
When in high school, everyone would tell me I would soon figure out what I wanted to do with my life. At that age, none of us knew. But when I entered college, I watched as fellow classmates found their majors and I still came up empty handed. Looking back, I didn’t put enough stock in myself, in my writing ability. I felt that becoming an author or journalist was a long shot, so I signed up for the medical field. It wasn’t long before hate started forming and I eventually dropped out.
While it didn’t feel good to be a college drop out, I still had no idea what to do with my life. As time went on, I jumped from place to place, job to job, searching. Trying to find my niche, ignoring the itch in the back of my mind that had long been scratched.
Eventually I landed a job at a transportation company, got married and had a daughter. I moved up the corporate ladder with ease. Within a year I was Terminal Manager of a fast growing business in the southeast. Yet everyday I felt miserable, overworked and resentful. My fellow coworkers couldn’t see my impending downfall- to them I was an inspiration, an amazing employee bringing her all to the table. Don’t get me wrong, I WAS bringing my all. I brought so much of myself that I had nothing left for my family or my own happiness. I worked 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Afraid to miss a call. Afraid to miss an email. Afraid to lose a client.
Then COVID entered the US. As you can imagine, it didn’t mesh well with the transportation industry. In my mind, this was my out. This was my way to leave without feeling guilty, without shame… without being a ‘quitter’ again.
So I did quit. COVID shut down the schools and I had to take care of and teach my now 6 year old. What choice did I have? I certainly didn’t make enough to pay someone to do it. These are the things I told myself.
Here I am now, 3 months after the 9–5 I’d grown so accustomed to. Believe it or not, I still feel like that 18 year old senior with no idea where to go. To bide time, I started a YouTube channel along with a podcast where I research lesser known crimes and talk about them. I do truly enjoy it… but it won’t pay my bills.
I feel like there is a small segment of time where your life either goes in the right direction or the wrong one. I feel like I missed my chance. I’m now a 31 year old… what? Quitter? Creator? Writer in secret?
If you’re reading this… did you find success? Or are you like me, doomed to return to the 9–5 grind because you just can’t afford to start over and make the right choice?
Lord knows Youtube or podcasts won’t pay the bills, but if you’re interested in my work, I’ve linked it here. If you’d like to talk, feel free to email me. I’m always open to making friends, no matter where you are in life. Don’t miss your chance- follow your passion and scratch the itch. We only have this one tiny slot of time on earth; there isn’t a reset button on your life.
You can find me on Instagram @untoldbtcofficial or twitter @untoldcrime. I also have a Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/untoldcrime/
Thanks for reading.
